Turning Worry into Peace
On the morning of February 15th 2009, I was
anxiously awaiting the birth of my son.
But it wasn’t just the excitement of meeting him that was on my
mind. I was also worried that he wouldn’t
come in time. My husband was deployed
and my mom and mother-in-law were in town to help take care of my daughter when
I was at the hospital, and to be there with me for extra help in the first few
days after his birth. This morning,
though, was already their sixth morning in town and there was only so much time
before they had to go home.
As each day passed, I grew more and more burdened with the
idea that perhaps my body would not be ready for labor until after they had
gone home. I asked my midwife about
inducing, but she said they would not do it until I was two-weeks past my due
date. By that time my help would be long-gone. I felt hopeless, as I was at the mercy of
nature’s timing rather than my own.
There was nothing I could do to ensure this baby would be born when I
needed him to be.
That Sunday morning I received an e-mail from a friend who
was passing along the following message: “Don’t tell God how big your problems
are, tell your problems how big your God is.” (Unknown author) I read it over a few times and then decided
to give it a try. I found a quiet spot
and spoke these words: “Anxiety, go away. You can’t cripple me. My God has a plan, a plan that’s right for
me. No matter what that plan is, everything
is going to be okay. I am done letting
you create worry in my mind. My baby
will come exactly when he’s supposed to.”
A few hours later, my water broke.
As soon as I confronted my problem, my worry turned into
peace. It reminded me to have faith in
God’s timing. It reminded me that we can
go ahead and make our plans, but ultimately it is not us who decides our fate. It reminded me that God won’t give me
anything I can’t handle.
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Beautiful!
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