I know how the way I act can seem sometimes. My shyness can
make it seem like I’m arrogant. My comments can make it seem like I’m
judgmental. My lack of laughter at a joke can make me seem snooty. My
perfectionist ways can make it seem like I think I’m better than everyone else.
My fast-paced nature can make me look like I’m too absorbed in my own life to
care about anyone else’s.
I am my own worst critic. But the reality is that sometimes
we act in certain ways or say certain things which, to someone else, can cause
us to be perceived as someone completely different from who we actually are.
Military wives often have the pleasure of meeting new faces.
Sometimes they are introduced to an entirely new group of women after a move
while other times there are a handful of newcomers into their current group.
Though we always miss our old friends, it is such a wonderful opportunity to
meet new people, new military wives who surely have something valuable to share
with us. But for many of these women, including myself, such a situation causes
our insecurities to flare—insecurity over whether or not they will like me,
insecurity over how they will perceive the things I say or do, and insecurity
over whether or not I will fit in with the group.
One thing I have noticed about myself over the years is that
I am very protective of myself. Many times, I opt to stay away from the large
crowds of fellow military wives because of my fears of not being included. Instead,
I become comfortable in my small group of friends where I know I am accepted.
This, I know, is one of my biggest faults. Allowing my fears to get in the way
of knowing some amazing women and developing great friendships is something I
need to change.
So I ask you, please know that if I seem shy, I am not
arrogant but am just nervous and secretly hoping that you will talk first to
get me warmed up. If I say something that seems judgmental or offends you, know
that such a result is never, ever intentional and I really do just say stupid
things sometimes. If I don’t laugh, it’s not because I’m snooty but I’m
probably tired or preoccupied or am having a rough day. If you are put off by
my perfectionism, understand that my effort is not to be better than everyone
but rather it is a bad habit I cannot break and overpowers my ability to relax.
And if you sense that I am constantly in a rush, please, please tell me to slow
down because I do care to hear what you have to say.
I promise you that I will do the same for you, because I know
you, too, are fighting your own insecurities.
I want you to know what’s behind how I can sometimes seem. I am kind. I am honest. I am funny in my own kooky way. I am outgoing once I warm up a little bit. I am sensitive. I am positive. I am faithful. I am humble. I am smart, but have so much more to learn. I am someone who values family and friendship and quality time with the people we love. And I, just like everyone other military wife, am trying every day to find my place in this military life.
I want you to know what’s behind how I can sometimes seem. I am kind. I am honest. I am funny in my own kooky way. I am outgoing once I warm up a little bit. I am sensitive. I am positive. I am faithful. I am humble. I am smart, but have so much more to learn. I am someone who values family and friendship and quality time with the people we love. And I, just like everyone other military wife, am trying every day to find my place in this military life.
Before you secure that first impression, please give me a
chance to let my guard down, to get past my fears, and to show you the real
me.
I hope people will take the time to get to know the real you, because you are such a beautiful person! What a great post, Lisa :)
ReplyDeleteYou are all those things and more! Not to mention brave for being able to put your insecurities into words. Wonderfully written!
ReplyDeleteSooo needed this today. You are awesome, Lisa! (Kari M)
ReplyDelete