Tuesday, January 8, 2013

When a Mountain is Smaller than You Think

You know those moments when, out of the blue, you see or hear something which inspires you to the point of tears? For me, those moments come when I am watching a Hallmark card commercial, or even reading through cards in the store. They come when I see the spark in children’s hearts. They come when I am driving in the car and hear that song which makes me to reflect on life and rethink my priorities.

A few days ago, I was listening to my playlist while working out and a song came on which brought me to tears. Maybe I was crying because the words unveiled a new truth in my constant quest for contentment, or maybe it was a gentle reminder that the troubles and anxieties I face in my life are so trivial in the grand scheme of things. Whatever the reason, I knew that the message was one I would need to hang on to. The song, So Small by Carrie Underwood, goes like this:

What you got if you ain't got love
The kind that you just want to give away
It's okay to open up, go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day, you want to shut the world out and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith
 [Verse 2]
It’s so easy to get lost inside a problem that seems so big at the time
It’s like a river that’s so wide it swallows you whole
While you sit around thinking about what you can’t change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time’s flying by, moving so fast, you better make it count 'cause you can't get it back
Sometimes that mountain you’ve been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you’ve been up there searching for forever is in your hands
When you figure out that love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem so small.
Verse 1: I cannot even imagine having a heart so heavy that I had no love to give. The love I have for the people in my life is what keeps me going. It’s true that all I want to do is keep giving it away and making those people feel special. As a military wife, I have often hidden in the comfort of my home during times of struggle trying to avoid interaction. I tend to always have that “I’m fine” response when asked how I’m doing to put off burdening others with my problems. But the truth is, that’s what those people are there for and the reason they care enough to ask in the first place is because they, too, have love they want to give. This verse reminds me that I need to let that love in just as I want others to let mine in.
Verse 2:  I cannot count how many times I have gotten swallowed by a problem that I made bigger than it actually was. And, even if I know it is something I cannot change, it continues to happen. I get sucked in to the negative thoughts going through my mind and I become irritable. All the while, I am making everyone else around me miserable and I end up spending valuable time on something worthless. Hearing these words in the song reminded me that I need to stop focusing on what I can’t change. It made me stop to look at my kids playing together and think about how fast they are growing up. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I spent their childhood years preoccupied with things over which I have no control.
[Chorus] When I heard the first line of the chorus, I was humbled. In reality, most of my mountains have just been grains of sand. When I think back on the big deals I made out of trivial things, I realize how little they matter in my life now that they have passed. When I think about all the things I have complained and still complain about, I see that I am guilty of forgetting about all the blessings in my life. I spend so much trying to figure out what would make my life perfect, but the truth is I already have it. It really is already in my hands. I love and am loved. One of my most basic human needs is fulfilled. When I put this in perspective, I realize that this is enough to overcome any other desires. It is enough to know that if I lost everything I owned I would still have love in the end. It is enough to turn any mountain into a grain of sand. Because when love is all that matters after all, everything else surely is so small.    

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