This post begins the first of several that I will write
about our upcoming move in July. Let me
begin by saying that I am not particularly happy about it. I have known for quite some time that we
would be leaving our home of four and a half years this summer, but my heart is
still quite unprepared for the change.
In mid to late July, we will be relocating to Quantico,
Virginia for my husband to attend EWS (Evolutionary Warfare School). I must
admit, the technical details of the move have been going rather smoothly so
far. We posted our house for rent on Militarybyowner.com
and rented it within a few weeks. We are
very happy with the family who will be moving in and it is nice to know that we
have renters shortly after we move out.
We also have found a house in Virginia, just north of Quantico, to rent
for the year Randall will be attending EWS.
The house is in a great area, is very clean, has a lot of space inside
and out for the kids to play, and is near a good elementary school for
Keira. It meets all of the expectations
I was hoping to find, which one would think would make me content. But there is something eating at me inside,
something that gives me uneasiness about this whole situation. It has nothing to do with renting our house,
or the house we will be moving into. What
it is about is having to uproot the life we have now, where we have become
settled and comfortable over the past several years, where we have made many
great friends and wonderful memories, and reestablish it in a new location with
new people, places, schools, roads, and not to mention tons of traffic.
This will be the fourth move for my husband and I (fifth for
me if you count moving out of my parents’ house after I got married). All of the past moves have been easy for me
because it was just Randall and I, with the exception of the move from
California to North Carolina when Keira was just four weeks old. The only thing I cared about then was that he
and I were together. But now that we
have kids with us, kids that have their own little lives here in NC—friends,
school, doctors who know them, a street that is perfect for them to play—it is
difficult for me to think about starting over.
Kids are resilient and I know they will settle into a new area very
quickly, but what we have here is all I have known as a mother. The ease I have felt during past moves is
long gone now because I am not just a wife anymore. I am a mom who has learned everything I know
about having kids here in this place. I
have discovered more about how to survive than I could have ever imagined in
the years I have lived here. I have
watched my kids grow into little people with what we have around us right
now. This is the home our family knows, and
I am just not ready to part with it.
I consider myself a social person. I enjoy being around people and sharing
similarities with them. However, I am slow to meet new people. As social as I am, I have a shyness that
comes out when I do not yet know a person and I tend to hold back in
introducing myself. This house is the
first place where we have lived long enough for me to become part of the people
around me. I have met many other mothers
and friends through the wonderful world of play dates. I have become friends with many of the
neighbors. I became known with the other
parents at Keira and Clay’s school. I
even know the faces and some names of the employees at the local stores. It feels so good to finally know a place so
well that the people know me back. In
Virginia, though, I will be starting back at square one. I will have to learn who our neighbors are, I
will have to reestablish play dates with new people, and I have to hope that I
will develop some friendships along the way that are even half as good as the
ones I have made here. Right now,
though, I just don’t want to!
These feelings I am experiencing, I know, are just another
reason why being a military wife is hard.
Despite my lack of motivation, I keep trying to remind myself to stay positive
and to look at the advantages of moving.
I need to think about the experience it will bring to my kids and how much
more they will develop by making new friends.
I know that all the anxieties I am feeling will eventually pass and
maybe, before long, I will feel just as settled in our new home as I do in this
one. No matter what happens, whether the
adjustment is easy or difficult, the most important thing to remember is that we
will be together as a family. We will
have each other and I know we will gain something great from this new
adventure. I have to try my best to
think this way, if anything to practice what I preach. If I’m going to write a blog about how the
military lifestyle gives wives a chance to bloom, then I had better allow my
own self to bloom!