Wednesday, May 30, 2012

A New Adventure Awaits

This post begins the first of several that I will write about our upcoming move in July.  Let me begin by saying that I am not particularly happy about it.  I have known for quite some time that we would be leaving our home of four and a half years this summer, but my heart is still quite unprepared for the change. 

In mid to late July, we will be relocating to Quantico, Virginia for my husband to attend EWS (Evolutionary Warfare School).   I must admit, the technical details of the move have been going rather smoothly so far.  We posted our house for rent on and rented it within a few weeks.  We are very happy with the family who will be moving in and it is nice to know that we have renters shortly after we move out.  We also have found a house in Virginia, just north of Quantico, to rent for the year Randall will be attending EWS.  The house is in a great area, is very clean, has a lot of space inside and out for the kids to play, and is near a good elementary school for Keira.  It meets all of the expectations I was hoping to find, which one would think would make me content.  But there is something eating at me inside, something that gives me uneasiness about this whole situation.  It has nothing to do with renting our house, or the house we will be moving into.  What it is about is having to uproot the life we have now, where we have become settled and comfortable over the past several years, where we have made many great friends and wonderful memories, and reestablish it in a new location with new people, places, schools, roads, and not to mention tons of traffic.   

This will be the fourth move for my husband and I (fifth for me if you count moving out of my parents’ house after I got married).  All of the past moves have been easy for me because it was just Randall and I, with the exception of the move from California to North Carolina when Keira was just four weeks old.  The only thing I cared about then was that he and I were together.  But now that we have kids with us, kids that have their own little lives here in NC—friends, school, doctors who know them, a street that is perfect for them to play—it is difficult for me to think about starting over.  Kids are resilient and I know they will settle into a new area very quickly, but what we have here is all I have known as a mother.  The ease I have felt during past moves is long gone now because I am not just a wife anymore.  I am a mom who has learned everything I know about having kids here in this place.  I have discovered more about how to survive than I could have ever imagined in the years I have lived here.  I have watched my kids grow into little people with what we have around us right now.  This is the home our family knows, and I am just not ready to part with it.

I consider myself a social person.  I enjoy being around people and sharing similarities with them. However, I am slow to meet new people.  As social as I am, I have a shyness that comes out when I do not yet know a person and I tend to hold back in introducing myself.  This house is the first place where we have lived long enough for me to become part of the people around me.  I have met many other mothers and friends through the wonderful world of play dates.  I have become friends with many of the neighbors.  I became known with the other parents at Keira and Clay’s school.  I even know the faces and some names of the employees at the local stores.  It feels so good to finally know a place so well that the people know me back.  In Virginia, though, I will be starting back at square one.  I will have to learn who our neighbors are, I will have to reestablish play dates with new people, and I have to hope that I will develop some friendships along the way that are even half as good as the ones I have made here.  Right now, though, I just don’t want to!

These feelings I am experiencing, I know, are just another reason why being a military wife is hard.  Despite my lack of motivation, I keep trying to remind myself to stay positive and to look at the advantages of moving.  I need to think about the experience it will bring to my kids and how much more they will develop by making new friends.  I know that all the anxieties I am feeling will eventually pass and maybe, before long, I will feel just as settled in our new home as I do in this one.  No matter what happens, whether the adjustment is easy or difficult, the most important thing to remember is that we will be together as a family.  We will have each other and I know we will gain something great from this new adventure.  I have to try my best to think this way, if anything to practice what I preach.  If I’m going to write a blog about how the military lifestyle gives wives a chance to bloom, then I had better allow my own self to bloom! 

1 comment:

  1. We are DEVASTATED to leave Hawaii. Even through all the moves, we will have spent 10 years here. THIS is home. Husband and I speak often after the kids go to sleep or on date nights about our apprehensions, our uneasiness. In front of the kids, we talk about their boy cave that we'll create. We talk about how they want to arrange the furniture in their rooms. We google earth the new house and talk about adventures in the woods. All the while, I'm sad and depressed on the inside for all the reasons you mention in your blog. You will do great and you and Randall will create a great environment for the kids no matter the USMC sends you. Semper Gumby.