How to See the Biggest Picture

Have you ever played that game where you look at your surroundings with one eye closed and then switch eyes to see how different they look through the other eye? I remember playing this game with myself as a child and finding it fascinating how the picture changed from eye to eye without turning my head or moving my body. It seemed funny how my two eyes, which were each taking in an individual image, could work together to produce one smooth, uninterrupted picture.    

Every so often, though, one eye would seem a little blurrier than the other. The picture from one side was foggy and much less perfect than the other side. And sometimes, depending on what I was looking at, closing one eye meant removing something out of my line of sight completely. But as soon as I opened the other eye the picture became full and clear again.

Sometimes I find myself seeing my life through one eye. I am not saying I walk around with one eye closed, although my kids would get a kick out of that, but I get stuck focusing on the things which are blurry and imperfect. I get too caught up in the not-so-great that I end up completely losing sight of the things which are extraordinary.  

It is all too easy to get wrapped up in the everyday and forget to look at the big picture. When we are anxious or tired or overwhelmed, we tend to focus on the negatives in our life and wonder when we will begin to feel better. But if we allow the other eye to open, we might just find that things aren’t as bad as they seem. We might find ourselves being reminded of all the good in our lives. We might find that our perspective changes when we have the ability to see the entire picture.

When both of my eyes are open, I am calmer. I have more faith. I find more beauty in the ordinary days. I more fully appreciate my kids and husband. I am more willing to accept the trials in my life because I know that, in the grand scheme of things, they are short lived. When both of my eyes are open, I see how grand life really is.

Helen Keller may have been blind, but she didn’t let this stop her from viewing life through both eyes. Let this be a reminder that it’s not what we can or cannot see with our eyes which determines how great our lives are, it’s what we choose to see with our minds. In other words, it’s not sight but insight which helps us to see the biggest picture.  

When Not Knowing is a Blessing

The past few days, I have found myself caught off guard when looking at my son. He’s such a big boy now! He is so tall and plays just like boys do and his sweet face is looking more mature every day. I realize that I must begin to adjust how I respond to him to fit his growing mind.  

Why is it that I am not ready for this? Why must everything go by so fast? Why is it that we gain wisdom only after the times when we could have used it?

Only after our babies have grown up do we realize how fast they really grow. Only after we struggle through those toddler years do we realize how differently we should have done things. Only after we have kids of our own do we realize our parents were right. Only after we leave our childhood nests do we realize how much we miss home. Only after our grandparents pass away do we realize all the things we wish we could ask them. Only after we face difficult circumstances do we realize how short time really is and that we probably overreacted a little, or a lot, to the challenges we endured.

It seems to be our curse that we discover what needs to be done only after it is too late.

Or is it a blessing?

Perhaps we aren’t supposed to know. Perhaps if we already had all the wisdom we needed for life, then wisdom wouldn’t be so great. Perhaps being able to realize when and where we falter is part of the pathway to becoming stronger, better people.  Perhaps this is all God’s way of telling us to be more attentive with our time because it won’t pass our way again.

I may have taken my kids’ baby and toddler year for granted, but I am blessed to have learned the value of time. I may have regrets about how I did certain things in their younger years, but I am blessed to have learned how important it is to think carefully before I make a parenting decision. I may not have realized how much I would miss my childhood home, but I am blessed to have such wonderful memories and can work towards creating great memories for my own children. I may have missed out on some great conversations with my grandparents, but I am blessed to have learned how important it is to cherish time with our loved ones.

 

I am blessed by the lessons which life is continually teaching me. 

 

In what areas do you wish you knew then what you know now? How could not knowing have actually been a blessing? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

 

For When You Want to Get Away

Lately I have been desperately wanting a break. A break from waking up early, a break from chores, a break from my kids, a break from writing, and a break from thinking. It seems there is no time or place to find that truly quiet space where I can gather my thoughts and recharge my mind. I love my family and I dread missing out on valuable time with them. But lately I’ve just wanted to escape to a Caribbean island, allowing the sun to warm my body and staring out at the beautiful blue water, immersing myself in peace.


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But then I think about how if I were actually there, by myself, finally able to quiet my mind, I would just end up thinking about how much I miss those crazy kids.

So, then, if a Caribbean getaway isn’t the solution to calming my mind, then what is?

Now that I am well into my years as a mom, I understand so much more about why my own mom did things. I understand why she needed those catnaps in the afternoon or why she rested on the couch after dinner was over. I understand why she sometimes had to say no when I asked her to play with me. I understand why she got worried or frazzled by so many things. Like me, she too was overwhelmed and frustrated and tired. She, too, had too many things to do in a short amount of time. But unlike me, I never, ever, heard her complain about being tired. She just went and lied down.  I never heard her complain that she had to cook dinner, she just did it. I never heard her complain that she wanted to be by herself, she just accepted that her kids were always with her (or she dropped us off at grandma’s house!).   

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The truth is things are the way they are. I could continue to fight them and be miserable, or I could wake up every morning and accept them, accept that I have young kids and they are going to test my limits, accept that I am tired and decide to do the best I can anyway, and accept that my duties right now are those of a stay-home mom, to take care of the house and the food and the errands. I could accept that all of these things are sometimes a little bit harder because I am a military wife (okay, a lot harder!), and remember my faith that there is a bigger plan, a good plan, for all of the challenges I face in my life.

If, for now, my Caribbean paradise is five short minutes in the car as I drive to the grocery store, or just one chapter of the book I’ve been trying to read for months, I’ll take it. With fewer complaints and the right perspective, my getaway can be much closer than it seems.